Conditioning begins when we are born and continues throughout our lives. It leads to habits, some of them good and some not so good, that contribute greatly to our behaviors.
Verbal cues you heard as a child probably shaped your mindset. Suppose your parents used the term no constantly—”No, don’t touch the socket” and “No, don’t go into the street.” Your mom and dad had good intentions—they wanted to protect you—but no could potentially echo in your mind when you become an adult.
You might convince yourself not to take risks that may be needed to reach a breakthrough. You could play it safe and not explore options that could prove gratifying and make a difference for others.
Conditioning and the Subconscious
Our parents were navigating their own conditioning as they were raising us. In most cases, they were not aware this conditioning existed. They made decisions based on what they had experienced, but some of the results—the habits we developed due to that conditioning—may not have been productive.
As we recognize the impact of conditioning, we have an opportunity to change so future generations may have a different experience.
This is a great way to think, but not easy to execute. We must begin with recognizing our own conditioning. Early in my career, I was able to recognize conditioning that led me to join the rat race:
I was under the impression that, as a man, work was all about “killing it” and “bringing it home.”
As a child watching TV, I noticed the dad went off to work each day to earn money to provide for the family, which is what my father did as the primary breadwinner.
This perception was added to subliminal cultural messages that encourage us to earn and spend, purchase bigger houses, better cars and nicer clothes, all in an effort to “keep up with the Joneses”.
It was not until I had an awakening that I realized this was occurring. I noticed that most of the people around me were also caught up in this cycle of earning and spending.
Are You in the Rat Race?
Merriam-Webster defines the rat race as follows:
A rat race is the unpleasant life of people who have jobs that require them to work very hard in order to compete with others for money, power, status, etc.
The term is associated with an exhausting, repetitive lifestyle that leaves no time for relaxation or enjoyment:
- We are stressed, and unwilling or unable to take breaks for rest and rejuvenation.
- We neglect the people and things most important to us, often without realizing we are doing so.
- The rat race can cause burnout and destroy individuals, families and institutions.
Early on, we are prepared through cultural conditioning to strive for more. However, there is a cost associated with this relentless pursuit.
Getting Out
We often do not recognize the need for change until a life-altering event occurs, such as the death of someone close to us, an illness or a job loss. When we come to this realization, it is often very difficult to break ingrained habits and make changes.
Are you in the race?
How is it going?
Is there a need to change?
If so, how will you change?
Who will hold you accountable for doing so?
These are questions worth answering—if not for yourself, then certainly for those you love.
The rat race cannot be won. We should all focus on developing a better understanding of what drives us and consider how the past affects who we are today. By that I mean, what is good about it and what is not so good. We can then decide if we need and want to change our conditioning. Afterwards, we can set goals and take action to do so.
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